Whod you bang
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
