there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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