Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize