friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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