haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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