maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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