you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
