yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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