Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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