He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Shame - the story of my life.
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