tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
