I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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