Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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