can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
