Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
