When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
