I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
