I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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