I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
