So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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