the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
