Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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