Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
