You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
