Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
