Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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