it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
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