Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
this just has baby written all over it
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
