As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
