hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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