hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think i got beer on your cat.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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