ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
