Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
