Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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