blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
