my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
