So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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