I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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