I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
