i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
