I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I can't turn off my feet"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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