Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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