lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
