Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
