first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
