can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
