Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize
