it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We had to coat check the pizza.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
