first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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