eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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