I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
