there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
