I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
