I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
