We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
